How I came to call myself a writer

I remember exactly when I realized that I could write. It was during this brief period of time that I was dating this engineer named Geoff. He was the first guy dated after separating from my then husband. I didn’t think much of our first date but nevertheless agreed to a second. This time he wanted to make dinner for me at his place. I suppose I was rather naive about what it means when a guy invites you to his place for dinner. So much so that I was startled when he went in for a kiss on his sofa! It honestly didn’t occur to me that we might be intimate. I will tell you this - we were VERY intimate that night. In various places in his home. In various formations and up against various surfaces. Well, that had never happened to me before!

And there was something else that had never happened to me before. The day after this unforgettable date, Geoff sent me the most gorgeous email, beautifully expressing his overwhelming attraction and desire for me. I was so touched, and I wrote him an email in response. It was in the back and forth of these letters, that I discovered my own love and talent for writing. I remember being pleasantly shocked and surprised to see the words flow out of me so beautifully and poetically on the page. I had no idea this was in me.

It wasn’t just Geoff who I was falling for, in the course of these letters - it was that I was falling in love with writing, and falling in love with the writer in me. Since that time I’ve been drawn to writing and storytelling, and have delighted in writing opportunities that have arisen over the years.

But something significant has happened to me in the last few months. It’s that I decided to call myself a writer. And that has made all the difference.

I’ve seen a shit tonne of leaders in the coaching and leadership space, speak with great bravado about how you don’t need anyone’s permission to give yourself whatever title you want. Something “like, gurrrrl, you don’t need anyone’s permission to start calling yourself an artist, or a wellness coach, or an expert in this or that.”

Listen, if Bravado is what gets you to the line everyday, if it’s what allows you to give yourself permission to hold your title, then don’t mess with that. But bravado never quite worked for me. It’d give me a surge of writer energy, but it’s nothing like the deep knowingness I now experience. The transformation I’ve made in the last few months has been much quieter. Deeper. A quiet confidence. That just knows. And gives me the quiet confidence to be out in the world as writer, offering my work to others. Stepping up to the line everyday to do my work.

And here’s what this writer wishes to leave you with today. It’s that there are many ways to come to the line. Many ways to own and embody what is yours - it does not need to be with gusto and bravado. That there is also a way to stand at the line with quiet confidence, and go from there.