Taking up space. More or less.

Some people just love to sprawl their bodies out, all crotch out, and limbs spread in all directions. Taking up the space of two and half people. Then you have other people tucked into themselves in a corner, taking up just half their space. This was playing out before my eyes at the very hip and trendy coffee shop I like to go to on Sunday mornings in Chinatown. I love to sit right up at the window bar, where there are exactly six bar stools.

As soon as I walked in with my son, I noticed this one guy (I wanna call him a bozo, but that would be mean), who appeared to be on a date. All sprawled out in the middle of the bar seating, taking up WAY too much space. My son and I ended up squished in between him and this young woman, who was working away on a computer with headphones, all rolled into herself, barely taking up any space at all.

I won’t lie, I was obsessed with bozo (couldn’t help it). Pretending to be doing my thing, but secretly eavesdropping on his bozo conversation. I also secretly took photos of him for you so you could see what I’m talking about. People that take up lots of space, space taker uppers, let’s say, they don’t just take up physical space, they also tend to be very loud. Which I was grateful for cause it made it easier to eavesdrop on him. He was on a first date with this woman. Saying bozo things like, “my parents are real estate agents, so property ownership has always been big in my family.” As a space taker upper, he was sitting quite far back from his date, body all leaned backwards, legs out in front of him. And, of course, arms positioned in such a way that his elbows were reaching out widely on either side of him. Oblivious that he was encroaching in the real estate that belonged to my son and I.

It was an interesting experience to be smashed in between this space taker upper to my left, then this compact woman to my right, who felt like she was taking up 3/4’s of her space (as you can see from this photo, I didn’t let the squeeze stop me from taking up space myself!). Interesting the ways that people take up space and probably don’t think a whole lot about it.

I want you to think about it. I want you to think about the ways you occupy space as you move about your day-to-day. Are you crotch out, arms crossed behind your head, loud AF, maybe wearing brightly coloured pants too? Are you squished into the corner, with your shoulders hunched into you, headphones on, in your own world, all in black and disappearing into the landscape? No judgement (as I remember my bozo statement). Truly, though, no judgment; just be curious.

Be curious about ways you can take up more space. Ways you can take up less space. And how one isn’t necessarily better than the other. I feel like our culture values the space taker uppers. But, what’s more wise, is to have repetoire in your ability to take up more or less space, according to your needs in the moment. For instance, it may not make a lot of sense to take up lots of space if you want to pause and be introspective. Just as it may not make sense to be meek and small if you’re just about to hit the stage and give a big impactful TedTalk.

Play with how much space you take up. That’s what I’m on about. Play with ways to do that - body, voice, colour, energy. Figure out what serves your needs. Now that is very juicy!!!

And in case you were wondering, the date was not a success. “There’s no easy way to say this; I’m just not feeling it,” is precisely what he said to his date. I was relieved to hear her respond in kind. And they went off in separate ways. I told my son to move his chair back and take up a bit more space, now that bozo was gone. Ahhhhhh, that felt good.

Thanks for tuning in, and have fun taking up space, or not. And stay juicy!